Read Me:
http://pinterest.com/pin/224054150182146373/
A wise woman once told me that "happiness is temporary, but contentment is a state of peace that lasts long-term." At the time, I was too young to really understand what it meant, but it has stuck with me and as I have grown older, it has begun to make sense.
Happiness is defined as "the quality or state of being happy." At any given time, we can be in a state of happiness; but, happiness is often dependent upon other things--a good day at work, a good grade, an accomplishment. At the same time, our unhappiness is also dependent upon other things--a bad day, an argument, a speeding ticket.
Contentment is defined as "the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind." The part "ease of mind" is really the meaning of contentment. It is being ok with life's circumstances, an ability to face the world and know that things will work out the way they are meant to, and having peace of mind. Contentment is something to be worked towards and achieved, and is not dependent upon other things. Contentment does not fluctuate the way that happiness does.
My clients often tell me that they want "their family to be happy." My response is that individual members can be happy at any given time, but that what they are really looking for is contentment--knowing that the family system is going to function properly and not fall apart because of their current crisis. They want to know that they can handle future problems and still remain intact. Happiness among family members does not equal a functional family--contentment and ease of mind that the family will be ok is what does.
Just because I know the difference between the two does not mean that I have reached a point where I am content with my life. In our 20's....is anyone? However, it is something that I am working towards; the end goal. It is hard to have faith that God will lead me to a place of contentment--after all, my life is hectic and the future is blurry. It will happen....eventually.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
What's In A Name...
Read me:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/baby-name-rules_b_1456854.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=HuffPostBlog
Most of yall know how I feel about names, especially common ones and those representative of our birth year (Brittany, Lauren, Emily, Amanda...). My mom swears there were NO Brittanys when she chose the name, however my Kindergarten class had FOUR: Brittany Y, Brittany C, Brittany M, and Brittany D. All spelled the same way. Which is one of the reasons I chose to go by Britt when I moved out here.
I think names should have meaning and substance and history. My first name means "From Britain" (no joke) but my middle name is Carolyn, after my grandmother, which I think is very special. Plus, it isnt common for our generation.
I really like #1, #9, and #19.
#1: No unique spellings. Think of all the ways to spell Brittany: Britney, Brittney, Brittaney, Britni, Brittni, Britnee,Britknee....enough said.
#9: Think about nicknames. I love the name Davidson (my mother's maiden name) but don't like the name David, so unfortunately that is out, unless it is a middle name. We all go by nicknames; some are better than others.
#19: Dont make your child have to spell and pronounce their name every time they say it. When thinking about a name, think about your child on the first day of school. Do you want your child to have to say "It is pronounced Lah-dash-ee-ah" (or whatever) for the next 12 years of school? And then have the teacher write it out on the roll in phonics so she can remember it?? No.
Let me add something to the list. #22: Dont name the child after the place she/he was conceived. It's cliche. London, Paris, Cheyenne, Georgia...just...dont.
So, choose wisely my friends. Checking out the top 20 baby names may not be the way to go, unless, of course, you want to add to the statistics or are really uncreative.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/baby-name-rules_b_1456854.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=HuffPostBlog
Most of yall know how I feel about names, especially common ones and those representative of our birth year (Brittany, Lauren, Emily, Amanda...). My mom swears there were NO Brittanys when she chose the name, however my Kindergarten class had FOUR: Brittany Y, Brittany C, Brittany M, and Brittany D. All spelled the same way. Which is one of the reasons I chose to go by Britt when I moved out here.
I think names should have meaning and substance and history. My first name means "From Britain" (no joke) but my middle name is Carolyn, after my grandmother, which I think is very special. Plus, it isnt common for our generation.
I really like #1, #9, and #19.
#1: No unique spellings. Think of all the ways to spell Brittany: Britney, Brittney, Brittaney, Britni, Brittni, Britnee,Britknee....enough said.
#9: Think about nicknames. I love the name Davidson (my mother's maiden name) but don't like the name David, so unfortunately that is out, unless it is a middle name. We all go by nicknames; some are better than others.
#19: Dont make your child have to spell and pronounce their name every time they say it. When thinking about a name, think about your child on the first day of school. Do you want your child to have to say "It is pronounced Lah-dash-ee-ah" (or whatever) for the next 12 years of school? And then have the teacher write it out on the roll in phonics so she can remember it?? No.
Let me add something to the list. #22: Dont name the child after the place she/he was conceived. It's cliche. London, Paris, Cheyenne, Georgia...just...dont.
So, choose wisely my friends. Checking out the top 20 baby names may not be the way to go, unless, of course, you want to add to the statistics or are really uncreative.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
High School Flashback
Today I got to be a guest speaker at the local high school, Poudre High (pronounced Pooooder) in their Sociology of Relationships class. First off, how cool that they offer that class! Second, how cool that I got to be a guest speaker.
I had never been to PHS, so I was a little unsure what to expect. It is a huge school and very nice inside. As soon as I walked through those doors, however, I had an immediate flashback to high school. There were posters on the walls advertising various clubs, teams, and candidates for class elections. Students were standing around in clumps talking. Lockers were banging shut. Students in the attendance office making excuses.
It got me thinking about my time at Walton. I really enjoyed high school--I made great friends that I am still close with 8 (!) years later, got the grades to get into UGA, and generally fared pretty well. I work a lot with high school students and I know that I was probably one of the lucky ones. High school can be brutal. Kids can be so cruel and hurtful and the impact can last a long, long time.
Was I ever cruel and hurtful? Did I say anything to anyone that will last a long, long time? I am sure at one point I did, as did probably most of us, unaware at that age of the power of words. Somewhere in the last 8 years I have become more open-minded and accepting, but before that? Im not sure.
I had never been to PHS, so I was a little unsure what to expect. It is a huge school and very nice inside. As soon as I walked through those doors, however, I had an immediate flashback to high school. There were posters on the walls advertising various clubs, teams, and candidates for class elections. Students were standing around in clumps talking. Lockers were banging shut. Students in the attendance office making excuses.
It got me thinking about my time at Walton. I really enjoyed high school--I made great friends that I am still close with 8 (!) years later, got the grades to get into UGA, and generally fared pretty well. I work a lot with high school students and I know that I was probably one of the lucky ones. High school can be brutal. Kids can be so cruel and hurtful and the impact can last a long, long time.
Was I ever cruel and hurtful? Did I say anything to anyone that will last a long, long time? I am sure at one point I did, as did probably most of us, unaware at that age of the power of words. Somewhere in the last 8 years I have become more open-minded and accepting, but before that? Im not sure.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Realizations
Most of yall know that I have been doing bootcamp (45 minutes of cardio, strength, and resistance torture..I mean...training) 3-4 days a week for the past three months. Recently, on days off, I have been running or walking and mixing in a few random forms of exercise here and there: sand volleyball, capture the flag, and football. I have really upped my working out, but unfortunately havent seen the results I expected or hoped to see at this point.
I guess I need to define "results." I do not want to, and will not ever, be a super skinny girl. I am 100% ok with this. Fortunately or unfortunately, this butt is probably not going anywhere. I do not want to look like a 12-year old boy or a rail-thin celeb, which is good, because it's just not in the cards for me. The result I do want is to be healthy, toned, and comfortable in my body. I also want to be able to wear anything I want and feel good in it.
Though I have been struggling with this for a long time, (think undergrad) I think I am finally realizing that this is going to be a lifelong journey (which scares the hell out of me). I am not going to be the kind of girl who can eat whatever I want and get away with minimal exercise. I am going to have to make a lifestyle change and commitment to being healthy, and as I am beginning to see, it isnt going to be an easy, quick fix. It also isn't going to be perfect all the time. I am going to have days where I dont want to work out, or want to eat a whole pizza, and I will have to learn to be ok with that.
Thank you to all who have listened to me bitch about this and have given me tips on healthier eating, motivation, and exercise. On that note, I am off for a run.
I guess I need to define "results." I do not want to, and will not ever, be a super skinny girl. I am 100% ok with this. Fortunately or unfortunately, this butt is probably not going anywhere. I do not want to look like a 12-year old boy or a rail-thin celeb, which is good, because it's just not in the cards for me. The result I do want is to be healthy, toned, and comfortable in my body. I also want to be able to wear anything I want and feel good in it.
Though I have been struggling with this for a long time, (think undergrad) I think I am finally realizing that this is going to be a lifelong journey (which scares the hell out of me). I am not going to be the kind of girl who can eat whatever I want and get away with minimal exercise. I am going to have to make a lifestyle change and commitment to being healthy, and as I am beginning to see, it isnt going to be an easy, quick fix. It also isn't going to be perfect all the time. I am going to have days where I dont want to work out, or want to eat a whole pizza, and I will have to learn to be ok with that.
Thank you to all who have listened to me bitch about this and have given me tips on healthier eating, motivation, and exercise. On that note, I am off for a run.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
I mean....
Saw this on a friend's facebook--read first.
http://adultingblog.com/post/20260016876
I am definitely guilty sometimes of the "round-about request" or the "subtle, hidden request." I think, like the author, that it stems from growing up in the south, and the (ancient) idea that women should be polite, gentle, and non-invasive. Here is an example:
Me:(I really want Mexican) "Where do you want to go to dinner?"
Friend: "I dont know, what are you in the mood for?"
Me: "Well..."(Mexican)"... anything really...."
Friend: "Like, Italian, Mexican, American?"
Me: (I want Mexican). "I mean, I could definitely go for Mexican, but if you would rather do something else, that's fine, too."
Friend: "Ok, let's do that then."
Me: (YES!) "Are you sure?"
Friend: "Ok, cool."
Me: "Yeah, sounds good."
Why couldn't I have just said, "Im in the mood for Mexican food, want to get that?" instead of this silly conversation?? It is even worse over text messaging. Getting to that conclusion can easily take 10 minutes. Why do we, especially women, think we cant, or shouldn't, say what we mean from the beginning? I know that getting to the point is appreciated by men and women alike, not to mention bosses, coworkers, servers, telemarketing folks, and everyone else we come in contact with. What if we did that when ordering food at a restaurant?
Me: "I was thinking I'd have a chicken caesar salad, please."
Server: "Ok."
Me: "Or...wait. What do you think? Is it good?"
Server: "Yes, it is good."
Me: "Ok, perfect." (pause) "Or, do I really want a burger? I mean, that is what I was kind of leaning towards."
Server: cricket cricket
Me: "No, no. I'll go with the salad. I mean, that is better right? Ok, start with her and then I will be ready."
Come on. Is it too late to make a resolution to try to stop doing this??
http://adultingblog.com/post/20260016876
I am definitely guilty sometimes of the "round-about request" or the "subtle, hidden request." I think, like the author, that it stems from growing up in the south, and the (ancient) idea that women should be polite, gentle, and non-invasive. Here is an example:
Me:(I really want Mexican) "Where do you want to go to dinner?"
Friend: "I dont know, what are you in the mood for?"
Me: "Well..."(Mexican)"... anything really...."
Friend: "Like, Italian, Mexican, American?"
Me: (I want Mexican). "I mean, I could definitely go for Mexican, but if you would rather do something else, that's fine, too."
Friend: "Ok, let's do that then."
Me: (YES!) "Are you sure?"
Friend: "Ok, cool."
Me: "Yeah, sounds good."
Why couldn't I have just said, "Im in the mood for Mexican food, want to get that?" instead of this silly conversation?? It is even worse over text messaging. Getting to that conclusion can easily take 10 minutes. Why do we, especially women, think we cant, or shouldn't, say what we mean from the beginning? I know that getting to the point is appreciated by men and women alike, not to mention bosses, coworkers, servers, telemarketing folks, and everyone else we come in contact with. What if we did that when ordering food at a restaurant?
Me: "I was thinking I'd have a chicken caesar salad, please."
Server: "Ok."
Me: "Or...wait. What do you think? Is it good?"
Server: "Yes, it is good."
Me: "Ok, perfect." (pause) "Or, do I really want a burger? I mean, that is what I was kind of leaning towards."
Server: cricket cricket
Me: "No, no. I'll go with the salad. I mean, that is better right? Ok, start with her and then I will be ready."
Come on. Is it too late to make a resolution to try to stop doing this??
Monday, March 26, 2012
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby....
Read this first:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/planned-parenthood-speaker-good-parents-let-teens-have-sex-at-home
I am sure there are many different opinions on an article like this, and I felt that I needed to share mine. My first thought was "surely this woman did not come and advise all parents to let their teens have sex in their homes...." I get the feeling that this was taken way out of context to sensationalize the story.
I will take a stab at the message I think the speaker was trying to get across: the more parents speak openly about sex and sexuality with their teens, the better off both parties will be. The research on sex education (yes, bear with me....) shows that comprehensive sex education (meaning everything is discussed--anatomy, consequences, contraceptives...) is the most beneficial type, versus abstinance-only sex education or, more commonly, NO sex education. If children are not aware of the consequences and dont learn how to have safe sex, how can we expect them to know any better? Then we can add on top of that the "lure" of something "taboo" to make it all the more appealing.
I think we are all apt to agree the Europe has a more healthy relationship with alcohol because of the very open way in which it is used. Children drink wine for special occasions and learn that it is something to be savored and enjoyed, not abused, from a very early age. Incidentally, their rates of alcoholism are much lower than ours. I think the speaker was trying to say that the same could be applied when it came to sex. The more we talk about it, the better off everyone will be.
Planned Parenthood is not out to corrupt our society and convince everyone that the consequences of unprotected sex are easily reversed. In fact, PP's ultimate goal, as I see it, is the opposite. PP provides contraceptives, sex education, routine check-ups, and, yes, abortions. PP also offers these services for cheap, or free, which targets lower-income girls who have no other options and may not get care otherwise. But, go to most OB/GYNs in the country and you can get all of these things as well...yet these doctors are not getting slammed for "promoting" sex--safe or unsafe.
Like with most social issues, I think it is best we are all informed before we take a side. I dont think this is going to be resolved anytime soon, with the upcoming election and the huge focus on abortion, contraceptives, health care, and so on. Take a side--after all, that is what our country was built on--just make sure you're informed when you do. I think we can all figure out which one I am on.
http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/planned-parenthood-speaker-good-parents-let-teens-have-sex-at-home
I am sure there are many different opinions on an article like this, and I felt that I needed to share mine. My first thought was "surely this woman did not come and advise all parents to let their teens have sex in their homes...." I get the feeling that this was taken way out of context to sensationalize the story.
I will take a stab at the message I think the speaker was trying to get across: the more parents speak openly about sex and sexuality with their teens, the better off both parties will be. The research on sex education (yes, bear with me....) shows that comprehensive sex education (meaning everything is discussed--anatomy, consequences, contraceptives...) is the most beneficial type, versus abstinance-only sex education or, more commonly, NO sex education. If children are not aware of the consequences and dont learn how to have safe sex, how can we expect them to know any better? Then we can add on top of that the "lure" of something "taboo" to make it all the more appealing.
I think we are all apt to agree the Europe has a more healthy relationship with alcohol because of the very open way in which it is used. Children drink wine for special occasions and learn that it is something to be savored and enjoyed, not abused, from a very early age. Incidentally, their rates of alcoholism are much lower than ours. I think the speaker was trying to say that the same could be applied when it came to sex. The more we talk about it, the better off everyone will be.
Planned Parenthood is not out to corrupt our society and convince everyone that the consequences of unprotected sex are easily reversed. In fact, PP's ultimate goal, as I see it, is the opposite. PP provides contraceptives, sex education, routine check-ups, and, yes, abortions. PP also offers these services for cheap, or free, which targets lower-income girls who have no other options and may not get care otherwise. But, go to most OB/GYNs in the country and you can get all of these things as well...yet these doctors are not getting slammed for "promoting" sex--safe or unsafe.
Like with most social issues, I think it is best we are all informed before we take a side. I dont think this is going to be resolved anytime soon, with the upcoming election and the huge focus on abortion, contraceptives, health care, and so on. Take a side--after all, that is what our country was built on--just make sure you're informed when you do. I think we can all figure out which one I am on.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Heart Like Mine
Love this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCbTICNAwxM&ob=av2e
Miranda Lambert's "Heart Like Mine"is one of my favorite songs. I love her take on her relationship with Jesus--it is so honest.
It may be weird that I am writing a post about religion. I have definitely gotten away from it since college, but lately I have found myself praying more. I have finally realized that a lot of things in my life are beyond my control, despite my best effort to control them. Maybe my job is the catalyst; it is hard to not count my blessings when I am constantly reminded how blessed I am. Maybe it is maturity. Who knows.
Learning to let go of the things I cant change or control has been a huge challenge for me. I have a hard time letting them go, because it feels like I am giving up or making myself vulnerable to the unknown. Usually, when I am praying, I find myself saying the Serenity Prayer, which is just how I have been feeling lately. I want to trust God with my life, but to be honest, I am scared to turn over the control. One step at a time, I guess.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCbTICNAwxM&ob=av2e
Miranda Lambert's "Heart Like Mine"is one of my favorite songs. I love her take on her relationship with Jesus--it is so honest.
It may be weird that I am writing a post about religion. I have definitely gotten away from it since college, but lately I have found myself praying more. I have finally realized that a lot of things in my life are beyond my control, despite my best effort to control them. Maybe my job is the catalyst; it is hard to not count my blessings when I am constantly reminded how blessed I am. Maybe it is maturity. Who knows.
Learning to let go of the things I cant change or control has been a huge challenge for me. I have a hard time letting them go, because it feels like I am giving up or making myself vulnerable to the unknown. Usually, when I am praying, I find myself saying the Serenity Prayer, which is just how I have been feeling lately. I want to trust God with my life, but to be honest, I am scared to turn over the control. One step at a time, I guess.
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