I recently got a job (!) as a family therapist. I work with kids and teens and their families on all kinds of issues. To be able to work with kids, I had to get finger printed, background checked, motor vehicle checked, and a provisional license. I dont disagree with this policy, especially considering the nature of the work that I do.
However, today I was thinking about the process; I have been through it 2 times already, once to get into grad school, and once to begin seeing clients. Luckily, the state of Wyoming came to the conclusion (once more) that I was not, in fact, a criminal and has graciously allowed me to help those who are.
There is always some debate about whether or not parents (read: mothers) should have to go through a similar process before giving birth or being able to keep their baby. How in the world this would be implemented is beyond me, because the number of pregnant women who do not a: have access to health care, and/or b: do not know that they need health care while pregnant and/or c: cant get care because of other reasons or circumstances and/or d: choose not to get care, is higher than we might like to think. Unfortunately, these are often the mothers that I see in therapy. So...should mothers be required by law to do some sort of criminal background check?
Of course, we are all going to have different opinions. Even the experts cant agree. I want to make it clear that I do not think that those parents with a criminal history cannot be good parents--they can. But often for these parents life's circumstances make it more difficult that those parents who do not have a criminal history. I am also not suggesting that parents without a criminal history are always good parents--they arent. We all know that.
This is my two cents...what do you think?
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
That is my biggest Pet Peeve!
How many times have you said this?? I say it all the time. Even Cosmo magazine has a section called "Bitch It Out" where people can send in pics or stories of pet peeve violations. I have two main pet peeves:
1. When people dont replace the empty toilet paper roll.
2. When cars are parked on the curb with space between them that could almost fit another car, but not quite.
The latter happened today when I was pulling up to my apartment. Three cars, perfectly spaced between the non-red curb so only a smart car could possibly fit without incurring major damage. Even though there was space in my apartment lot I found myself thinking, "OMG that is sooo annoying." Wait a hot second. I didnt even want to park there, so why did I care?
So I started thinking about pet peeves. I am assuming everyone has one or two things that just drive them crazy. But, should we react to them? Do pet peeves hurt anyone but ourselves? No, they dont. I can just about guarantee that the owners of said cars dont give a shit that there is 6 feet between their car and the other and definitely dont give a shit that it annoys me. So in the end, I am the only one affected.
I think it is more of the principle behind these actions. Another popular pet peeve: chewing with your mouth open. We think it is rude--I mean no one wants to see your half chewed food. But, it is the open-mouth chewer who should be concerned with his or her poor manners.
So, my half year resolution (a tad late) is to try not to let it bother me (as much...hey, baby steps). Because, in the end, I am the only one that gets frustrated...and it is just not worth it.
1. When people dont replace the empty toilet paper roll.
2. When cars are parked on the curb with space between them that could almost fit another car, but not quite.
The latter happened today when I was pulling up to my apartment. Three cars, perfectly spaced between the non-red curb so only a smart car could possibly fit without incurring major damage. Even though there was space in my apartment lot I found myself thinking, "OMG that is sooo annoying." Wait a hot second. I didnt even want to park there, so why did I care?
So I started thinking about pet peeves. I am assuming everyone has one or two things that just drive them crazy. But, should we react to them? Do pet peeves hurt anyone but ourselves? No, they dont. I can just about guarantee that the owners of said cars dont give a shit that there is 6 feet between their car and the other and definitely dont give a shit that it annoys me. So in the end, I am the only one affected.
I think it is more of the principle behind these actions. Another popular pet peeve: chewing with your mouth open. We think it is rude--I mean no one wants to see your half chewed food. But, it is the open-mouth chewer who should be concerned with his or her poor manners.
So, my half year resolution (a tad late) is to try not to let it bother me (as much...hey, baby steps). Because, in the end, I am the only one that gets frustrated...and it is just not worth it.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Bucket List
A friend of mine recently went on vacation to Peru. While she and her husband hiked, swan, and went site-seeing. When she told me she was going to Peru, I was a little shocked: "What the hell is in Peru?" Her response: "It is on my bucket list."
It got me thinking--what is on MY bucket list? What do I want to experience during my lifetime? Things kept popping up in my mind over the next couple days and here is what I have come up with so far:
1. Skydive
2. Go to the Kentucky Derby, wear a big hat, place some bets, and drink Min Juleps
3. Buy a house/flip a house where I can really entertain family and friends
4. Visit Greece
5. Have a successful private practice
6. Run a half marathon
7. Own the full Louis Vuitton luggage set (kidding...but not really...)
8. Visit the homeland (aka Scotland), check out the Davidson province, and buy something with our family crest/plaid
So far, that is what I have thought of, in no particular order. I think it might be time to get going!
It got me thinking--what is on MY bucket list? What do I want to experience during my lifetime? Things kept popping up in my mind over the next couple days and here is what I have come up with so far:
1. Skydive
2. Go to the Kentucky Derby, wear a big hat, place some bets, and drink Min Juleps
3. Buy a house/flip a house where I can really entertain family and friends
4. Visit Greece
5. Have a successful private practice
6. Run a half marathon
7. Own the full Louis Vuitton luggage set (kidding...but not really...)
8. Visit the homeland (aka Scotland), check out the Davidson province, and buy something with our family crest/plaid
So far, that is what I have thought of, in no particular order. I think it might be time to get going!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Prized Possessions
Add the threat of potential evacuation due to wildfire to the list of things I have experienced since moving to Colorado two years ago.
In case you havent gotten online or turned on the TV in a few days, there is a 43K+ acre wildfire burning just 12 miles west of Fort Collins. It started Saturday morning because of a lightening strike and has grown bigger and more out of control every hour since. The air is grey and filled with smoke and flames can be seen from certain places in town. It is really scary. Of course, watching the news only makes it worse.
On Sunday night, I started to panic and decided I would pack up some things that I wanted to keep safe, just in case I did have to evacuate. I dont know if yall have ever had to pack up valuables and prepare to leave home, but I have not. The only other time I remember doing anything of the sort was heading to the basement one afternoon after swim team practice because of a tornado. I grabbed all the stuffed animals I could.
As I began to turn in circles in my apartment, trying to decide what to put in the plastic box, here is what went through my head:
Madeline! She is the most important thing, but I cant very well put her into a plastic box and shut the lid--at least not without food. Pictures! I want my pictures! So, I take down all my picture frames and stacked them in the box. What next? Birth certificate and passport...tax info...car registration...PROOF OF RENTER'S INSURANCE. That gets piled in next. Now what? Do I own anything of value? Not really...some nice jewelry and heirlooms and some nice purses. I throw those in on top. There is still room. I'd grab computer, camera, and my diploma off the wall on my way out. What else?
And then something occurred to me. Almost everything I have is replaceable. Sure, I have thousands of dollars worth of clothes and shoes, furniture, and books, but if I had to leave my apartment in a hurry with all that I could carry, none of those things would matter. It is all just stuff. When I am not threatened with having to evacuate, these things mean a lot to me, so it amazed me that I could so easily
leave it behind if I absolutely had to. Sure it is nice to have, but, really, this stuff doesnt matter. What does matter can fit into a cat carrier and a plastic tub.
As of this post, the fire is beginning to get under control. And, there is still room in the plastic tub, just in case....
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Contentment
Read Me:
http://pinterest.com/pin/224054150182146373/
A wise woman once told me that "happiness is temporary, but contentment is a state of peace that lasts long-term." At the time, I was too young to really understand what it meant, but it has stuck with me and as I have grown older, it has begun to make sense.
Happiness is defined as "the quality or state of being happy." At any given time, we can be in a state of happiness; but, happiness is often dependent upon other things--a good day at work, a good grade, an accomplishment. At the same time, our unhappiness is also dependent upon other things--a bad day, an argument, a speeding ticket.
Contentment is defined as "the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind." The part "ease of mind" is really the meaning of contentment. It is being ok with life's circumstances, an ability to face the world and know that things will work out the way they are meant to, and having peace of mind. Contentment is something to be worked towards and achieved, and is not dependent upon other things. Contentment does not fluctuate the way that happiness does.
My clients often tell me that they want "their family to be happy." My response is that individual members can be happy at any given time, but that what they are really looking for is contentment--knowing that the family system is going to function properly and not fall apart because of their current crisis. They want to know that they can handle future problems and still remain intact. Happiness among family members does not equal a functional family--contentment and ease of mind that the family will be ok is what does.
Just because I know the difference between the two does not mean that I have reached a point where I am content with my life. In our 20's....is anyone? However, it is something that I am working towards; the end goal. It is hard to have faith that God will lead me to a place of contentment--after all, my life is hectic and the future is blurry. It will happen....eventually.
http://pinterest.com/pin/224054150182146373/
A wise woman once told me that "happiness is temporary, but contentment is a state of peace that lasts long-term." At the time, I was too young to really understand what it meant, but it has stuck with me and as I have grown older, it has begun to make sense.
Happiness is defined as "the quality or state of being happy." At any given time, we can be in a state of happiness; but, happiness is often dependent upon other things--a good day at work, a good grade, an accomplishment. At the same time, our unhappiness is also dependent upon other things--a bad day, an argument, a speeding ticket.
Contentment is defined as "the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind." The part "ease of mind" is really the meaning of contentment. It is being ok with life's circumstances, an ability to face the world and know that things will work out the way they are meant to, and having peace of mind. Contentment is something to be worked towards and achieved, and is not dependent upon other things. Contentment does not fluctuate the way that happiness does.
My clients often tell me that they want "their family to be happy." My response is that individual members can be happy at any given time, but that what they are really looking for is contentment--knowing that the family system is going to function properly and not fall apart because of their current crisis. They want to know that they can handle future problems and still remain intact. Happiness among family members does not equal a functional family--contentment and ease of mind that the family will be ok is what does.
Just because I know the difference between the two does not mean that I have reached a point where I am content with my life. In our 20's....is anyone? However, it is something that I am working towards; the end goal. It is hard to have faith that God will lead me to a place of contentment--after all, my life is hectic and the future is blurry. It will happen....eventually.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
What's In A Name...
Read me:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/baby-name-rules_b_1456854.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=HuffPostBlog
Most of yall know how I feel about names, especially common ones and those representative of our birth year (Brittany, Lauren, Emily, Amanda...). My mom swears there were NO Brittanys when she chose the name, however my Kindergarten class had FOUR: Brittany Y, Brittany C, Brittany M, and Brittany D. All spelled the same way. Which is one of the reasons I chose to go by Britt when I moved out here.
I think names should have meaning and substance and history. My first name means "From Britain" (no joke) but my middle name is Carolyn, after my grandmother, which I think is very special. Plus, it isnt common for our generation.
I really like #1, #9, and #19.
#1: No unique spellings. Think of all the ways to spell Brittany: Britney, Brittney, Brittaney, Britni, Brittni, Britnee,Britknee....enough said.
#9: Think about nicknames. I love the name Davidson (my mother's maiden name) but don't like the name David, so unfortunately that is out, unless it is a middle name. We all go by nicknames; some are better than others.
#19: Dont make your child have to spell and pronounce their name every time they say it. When thinking about a name, think about your child on the first day of school. Do you want your child to have to say "It is pronounced Lah-dash-ee-ah" (or whatever) for the next 12 years of school? And then have the teacher write it out on the roll in phonics so she can remember it?? No.
Let me add something to the list. #22: Dont name the child after the place she/he was conceived. It's cliche. London, Paris, Cheyenne, Georgia...just...dont.
So, choose wisely my friends. Checking out the top 20 baby names may not be the way to go, unless, of course, you want to add to the statistics or are really uncreative.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/pamela-redmond-satran/baby-name-rules_b_1456854.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003&ir=HuffPostBlog
Most of yall know how I feel about names, especially common ones and those representative of our birth year (Brittany, Lauren, Emily, Amanda...). My mom swears there were NO Brittanys when she chose the name, however my Kindergarten class had FOUR: Brittany Y, Brittany C, Brittany M, and Brittany D. All spelled the same way. Which is one of the reasons I chose to go by Britt when I moved out here.
I think names should have meaning and substance and history. My first name means "From Britain" (no joke) but my middle name is Carolyn, after my grandmother, which I think is very special. Plus, it isnt common for our generation.
I really like #1, #9, and #19.
#1: No unique spellings. Think of all the ways to spell Brittany: Britney, Brittney, Brittaney, Britni, Brittni, Britnee,Britknee....enough said.
#9: Think about nicknames. I love the name Davidson (my mother's maiden name) but don't like the name David, so unfortunately that is out, unless it is a middle name. We all go by nicknames; some are better than others.
#19: Dont make your child have to spell and pronounce their name every time they say it. When thinking about a name, think about your child on the first day of school. Do you want your child to have to say "It is pronounced Lah-dash-ee-ah" (or whatever) for the next 12 years of school? And then have the teacher write it out on the roll in phonics so she can remember it?? No.
Let me add something to the list. #22: Dont name the child after the place she/he was conceived. It's cliche. London, Paris, Cheyenne, Georgia...just...dont.
So, choose wisely my friends. Checking out the top 20 baby names may not be the way to go, unless, of course, you want to add to the statistics or are really uncreative.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
High School Flashback
Today I got to be a guest speaker at the local high school, Poudre High (pronounced Pooooder) in their Sociology of Relationships class. First off, how cool that they offer that class! Second, how cool that I got to be a guest speaker.
I had never been to PHS, so I was a little unsure what to expect. It is a huge school and very nice inside. As soon as I walked through those doors, however, I had an immediate flashback to high school. There were posters on the walls advertising various clubs, teams, and candidates for class elections. Students were standing around in clumps talking. Lockers were banging shut. Students in the attendance office making excuses.
It got me thinking about my time at Walton. I really enjoyed high school--I made great friends that I am still close with 8 (!) years later, got the grades to get into UGA, and generally fared pretty well. I work a lot with high school students and I know that I was probably one of the lucky ones. High school can be brutal. Kids can be so cruel and hurtful and the impact can last a long, long time.
Was I ever cruel and hurtful? Did I say anything to anyone that will last a long, long time? I am sure at one point I did, as did probably most of us, unaware at that age of the power of words. Somewhere in the last 8 years I have become more open-minded and accepting, but before that? Im not sure.
I had never been to PHS, so I was a little unsure what to expect. It is a huge school and very nice inside. As soon as I walked through those doors, however, I had an immediate flashback to high school. There were posters on the walls advertising various clubs, teams, and candidates for class elections. Students were standing around in clumps talking. Lockers were banging shut. Students in the attendance office making excuses.
It got me thinking about my time at Walton. I really enjoyed high school--I made great friends that I am still close with 8 (!) years later, got the grades to get into UGA, and generally fared pretty well. I work a lot with high school students and I know that I was probably one of the lucky ones. High school can be brutal. Kids can be so cruel and hurtful and the impact can last a long, long time.
Was I ever cruel and hurtful? Did I say anything to anyone that will last a long, long time? I am sure at one point I did, as did probably most of us, unaware at that age of the power of words. Somewhere in the last 8 years I have become more open-minded and accepting, but before that? Im not sure.
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