Intensity

Today I had one of the most intense therapy sessions in the 14 months I have been working with clients.

My client is a 6 year old boy and his mother.  His mother just got out of jail and has just come back in his life after being absent for 2.5 years.  He has been expelled from school recently for intense anger, threats, and several other poor behavior.  In the 6 weeks of working with them, I haven't seen this anger to the extent which I have been told it could be.  That changed today.

Today, I was called a "fucking bitch," "asshole," and he told me he would "chop my head off" and "stab my mom in the heart so she dies" because he got angry at us.  This went on for about 35-40 minutes before he was able to get control.

Needless to say, I have never been called a "fucking bitch" by a client, and especially not a 6 year old.  It is amazing the amount of hurt and pain that this child is feeling and experiencing right now.  Unfortunately, a child does not have the verbal or emotional ability to express how he feels when feelings are so intense. He is unable to tell us how he felt abandoned, lost, and afraid he will be left again--the best way he knows how is to say and do things in an attempt to make us feel the same rage he is feeling.

Chances are I will lie away tonight thinking and replaying this session in my head.  This is the hard, and heartbreaking, part of my job.